If you don’t like how the table is set,turn over the table.


I want to say, the summaries which I am going to write down, are little
chicken-souply. But even the chicken soup is better than the horrible
saying. So let us say something positively to ourselves, and get more
self-confidence~ So communicators live what they communicate. On other
hands, we live like what we say, what we think, what we agree, what we
believe, and so on. You don’t need to clarify how it is happened? But
you need to know that is true. When I was a student, I read a book 《The
Secret》, which was talking about the law of attraction. For that we may
not know weather is true or not, but it is happened all the time.

   Grief demands an answer,but sometimes there isn’t one.

We choose to share not only to show our happy or sorrow, but also give
us or others an opportunity to analyze the whole thing. What we have to
be grateful for, where and how we can improve ourselves. We choose to be
positive not because it is a wonderful world, we want to make it a
better world. Change yourself first.

Now, let’s begin with an example. If your current leader is good at
communicate, and who is connected with people like you, what do you
feel? Will you liste? Will you believe? Will you follow? Even, I want to
ask, do you think is like as the Honey-Moon, don’t you? So if the people
communicate well, we may get hopeness. If the people communicate bad, we
may get hopelessness.

   They respect you more when you show strength.

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   If we never did anything we shouldn’t do,we’d never feel good about
doing the things we should.


we live like what we say

   If you try to bite my hand,I will put you to sleep.

Give yourself a reason and an opportunity to be human. Happiness is not
a random thing. Life is full of ups and downs, if you want to be happy,
you have to co-create your reality.

And, why has it happened like that? The answer is CREDIBILITY!

   Any pugilist worth his salt knows when someone’s on the ropes,that’s
when you throw a combination to the gut and a left hook to the jaw.

Free yourself two minutes per day to be grateful for the whole world.
One minute find some different or special views in your surroundings,
and another one make you feel happy.

Credibility is currency for leaders and communicators. With it,
they are solvent, without it, they are bankrupt.

   That stubbornness is far more costly than obedience.

Mostly, at the first six months, the communication overrides the
credibility. After the six months, the credibility overrides the
communication. and the meaning for credibility is the quality of
deservingto be trusted. So, when we trust others, or we are trusted,
that will be prefect! All things can happen possibly! And the trust can
means confidence.

   The gift of a good liar is making people think you lack a talent for


Eventually who you really are will show through, onstage, at work, or at
home. So if you want to connect well with people, you must become the
kind of person you would like to connect with. And the relationship we
have with others are largely determined by the relationship we have with

   When we care too much.It blinds us.

Admit you are not perfect. Choose a better way to enjoy daily life and
improve yourself. To change habits is a difficult but an useful way to
co-create reality. There are two different ways of changes. First one is
daily changes, which means it takes a long time to change your habits.
While another one is acute change, just like you use a hammer to crash
the wall. We have to change many aspects in our minds, what to think,
how to do, what is the reality and so on. Change means a lot to your
positive career.

What If you are not accepting of who you are, If you do not know
your own strengths and weakness, If you are uncomfortable with
yourselves, the attempts we make to connect with others will usually

   Stay focused requires strength.

There is an ABC in changes. A means affect, means motions. What is your
current thinking when sometimes good or bad happens. Give yourself an
opportunity to be a human. B means behavior. You should do something to
change your motions before fully consideration. C means cognition.
Before something happens and after that, what you do and how you think
changes your motion. That is the most benificial way to be positive.

How can you connect with others on common ground if you don’t know and
like yourself? How can you see others clearly if you have an unclear
view of yourself? Those are the tough questions, right? But we’d better
think about it.

   The road to power is paved with hypocrisy and casualties.Never

Change is difficult.

Once we know ourselves and like ourselves and feel comfortable with
ourselves, then we are open to knowing others, liking them, and feeling
comfortable with them, and then we have the potential to connect with

   I’ve always loathed the necessty of sleep.Like death,it puts even the
most powerful men on the backs.

Change is also valuable.

The first step toward connecting with ourselves is knowing

   It’s not beginning the story that I fear.It’s not knowing how it will

Do we really know ourselves? If we want to connect with ourselves, we
need to become Self-Aware, and know that comes from Self-Assessment.

   The only thing more satisfying than convincing someone to do what I
want is failing to persuade them on purpose.


The second step comes from liking ourselves.

   To improve is to change.To perfect is to change often.

We all want to enjoy happiness and success eternally, while it is a day
dream. However, we can change ours thinking. Focus on what we have right
here and right now is a beneficial way. We get easily satisfied because
we have nothing more to get, we do not need anything else.

For this step which comes from Self-Talking. There is a saying from a
master motivator, The most influential person who will talk to you all
day, is you. So we should be very careful about what we say to us. Even
the truth is we are not prefect, we have our weakness, but just like I
shared before, we have to accept that, that is us, if we can not change
it, we still can live with it.

   —I keep fighting you,but I can fight you less.
   —And by ‘less’ you mean…
   —Enough to hurt,but not to finish you.

Peak experience is the most happiest experience in a period in your
life. It occurs probably when you enjoy a good book, have a wonderful
meal, solve a difficult problem or find your soul mate. Though you feel
very happy when these things happen, it flows away not so long. There
are ups and downs in your emotions. We can create more peak experience
in order to change ourselves and to be happier.

For me I have many weakness, sometimes I act too selfish, sometime I am
not nice enough, sometime I could be very jealousy, sometimes I don’t
share anything, and I am afraid of too many things, I even loss my
temper many times for a day. But I know I am good enough, I have the
ability to be a good communicator, I love reading, I love learning, I
have passion, and I am good at listening, especially I am young enough
to learn everything, to starte new life! Yes! That is good enought!

   “Cry,Havoc” said he who fought chaos with chaos,”and let slip the
dogs of war.”

Our minds can not tell the difference from the reality and the
imagination. So we can co-create a better life and a more beautiful
world to fool ourselves. Focus on the positive things.

Knowing our self better and liking oureslves more, are the cheapest way
to improve ourselves. So, why not?

   Power is better than money for as long as it lasts.

We make mistakes every day, such as wake up late, speak in the wrong way
with customers, do not share more time with our family members, and so

   —You’ve gotten colder since you’ve taken over this job.
   —It makes things easier.On the outside.And the inside.


To be human is to mess up! (which means to spoil or ruin something,
especially something important or something that has been carefully
planned) To connect, we must fess up! (which means to admitthat you
have done something wrong, although it is not very serious)

   He’s in the darkness now.And I’m the only beacon of light.Now we
gently guide him toward the rocks.

There is only one way to be confident that you tell yourself you are
confident. Not only in imagination, but also in action. When you are
walking, you show your proud to the crowds. When you are having a meal,
everyone will enjoy your smile in your face. Show your positive energy
to this beautiful world. Show your powerful strength to your family and
friends. Action is much better than words.

And when our actions hurt others, especially someone who loves us so
much, we must admit that what we did was wrong and say sorry. We could
not trun back the clock, but we could do everything in our power to make

Everyday we have to do something difficult and different. We can not be
satisfied and happy when we just do what we are familiar with. We have
to go into uncomfort zone in order to improve ourselves, to change our
habits, to persuit our happiness.

When we make a commitment, we creat hope. When we keep a commitment, we
creat trust.

How we shake hands, how we face to problems, how we get to work and so
on, these are our inner heart can control. If you wanna show your
confidence to others, you will shake hands firmly and watch them with a
smile not avoid eyes contact or show an embarrassed looking. That is the
all your tell others who you are. If you are positive or you wanna to be
optimistic, others will see some special in your body language. Again,
act is much more useful than words.

You can not speak that which you do not know. You can not share
that which you do not feel. You can not translate that which you do
not have. And you can not give that which you do not possess. To give
it and to share it, and for it to be effective, you first need to have
it, you first need to live it.

If you are not willing to try to live something, you probably should not
try to communicate it. That does not mean we have to try to be pervect,
perhapes not, and we can not be.


To be persuasive we must be believable, to be believable we must be
credible, to be credible we must be truthful.

Do you have lots of New Year’s plans? How many of them? We all know that
we have to keep doing the same 21 days or more as a string to get a
great habits, to make it as a ritual, to make it as a part of our daily

Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most
diffcult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves. When I
realized that others knew more things than I do, and could do more
things than I do, that is freed me to take off my mask.

According to the research, we do not have much self-discipline to clear
out the old and make the way for the new. We have to focus on what we
have to change. If we have lots of plans to focus, we can not put all of
our passion or energy on each of them, which causes we can not get great
consequences even one of them. So here is the secret: focus on only one
on a period time. Make it useful, meaningful in your life. Make it as a
ritual just as brushing your teeth before enjoying a sound sleep.

In WSE, I was good at warming up the new people, later, I found I can
not make a good communication with everyone, I even could not talk with
someone well. Finally, I know that I am not that good at warming them
up, but warming my friends up. So I don’t worry that any more, because
what I really want is to practice my English, not warm new students up,
If warm them up can do me more lessones, then I try my best to do, but
if not, I don’t do it. And then I started to treat myself more kindly, I
asked myself about the painful, and try to understand me better. I
believe I will not need to dress up the mask for many times.



How to do somthing different and difficult? First, hard working. Reading
lots of materials, getting more experiences, doing exercises again and
again and buring yourself in learning. Make the most use of the time to
get what you wanna do. And then, give yourself a daily routines. We are
not robots. You can not be in full speed, you can not rush to the end at
first in a marathon. Give yourself some leisure time and place to rest,
and let the subconsious works for you. Maybe you will know how to solve
a problem when you enjoy a wonderful music, or get a creative and
fantastic idea to improve your efficiency. Last but very important, give
yourself an comment. Is it really useful and helpful? The foreplay, do I
put all of energy on it? The A-HA moment, is it really helpful to my
life? We have to give us a conclusion to retell ourselves that we do
lots of good work, and also we can improve ourselves im many aspects.


The topic today is how to write journal and why it is important. There
is an experiment that many people write their sorrow memories in couple
of days. In first four days, they feel much more unhappy than the
others, who write anything they want. That may shows the journal can not
relieve bitter or sorrow. However, since the fifth day from the
beginning, they show less sorrow or unhappy.

We have to focus on the three parts in the journal. First, our affect.
And then, our behaviors. Last, our congntive feelings, which teacher
says ABC.


After one week learning, positive psychology course is gradually
becoming one of my daily habits. Usually, I enjoy it and write my
comment at noon before my snap. If I do not have my leisure time at
noon, I remember that and take other time to make it up. I feel happy
and energetic to do something valuable and difficult in order to improve

Also, I get used to write, read and listen English in these days. At
first, I can not keep it pace, but now, I have confident that I enjoy it
and I can control it!



The process of change is not easy. It is hard to break the old habits
and make way for the new. We wanna do something bigger so we have to
improve ourselves.

Improve our ABC. Make it positive. For the affect, we have to give us
the permission to be human. Admit sometimes there must be unhappy and
injustice things in surroundings, but we should be grateful for what we
already have and focus on what we really want and we are chasing for. We
can find something interesting to help us. For me, basketball and
running just like the life in heaven. When I get the shoot in the
corner, I scream just I beat the Warriors, just win the game against my
Curry. Running is a useful way to relieve my anxiety, to help me sit
down quietly and focus what is really important for me. They change my
behaviors. Congnitive feeling is also signficent in positive phochology.
It tells us how to change and where we can do better the next time.

We must believe the ABC can not divided into three different parts. We
want to improve A, we can not give up B or C. We should improve them
together, which make us better and better and better, and also, we can
be more confident and positive.


We should not only enjoy the wonderful consequences, but also the
process to it. If we can do something bigger, something valuable to
ourselves and the society, that is great. However, if we fail, we can
also be proud of ourselves just like we win the game. We can still enjoy
the process and admit that way can not lead to happiness so that we
should change a different road. That is a failure. That is a useful try
do decrease a wrong answer in our limit chooses.

We can set the goals to help us focus on the target, not a day dream but
a realistic one. Imagine there is a wall in your road, what you will do?
To get back and tell everyone there is a wall? To change another way to
your destination? Or throw your phone over it so that you have to get
over this difficult?

The first answer is that you admit you are a failure. You are
complaining your surroundings and tell all people that you can not get
over it. You have no confident to solve this problem.

And the other two give us different ways to break the wall. We set goals
to help us to do it, because my phone is there! I have to be here! So
this time, our question is not “why there is a wall”, but “how can I
jump over the wall”. The change of the questions will give us different
angles to search this world. It leads us to find solutions to the
problem. Not anxiety, but passion helps us to work harder and harder.


We have the freedom and the right to choose who we wanna to be, what we
wanna to do and where we wanna to go. And also, we are responsible for
the whole desicions.

What you can do and what you love to do may not the same thing, if you
have to give up one and choose another one. Do not be regret because
when you make the dicision, you take the responsibility.

Do not waste much time to hesitate. Imagine that you are in a
countryside and you are lost. Unfornately, you are alone so that you
have to solve this problem by yourself. Maybe you should take a deep
breath to relieve, should close your eyes for chasing peace for a while.
However, you can not waste much time. You can only rely on yourself this
time, this place. If you know the direction, that is good. If not, you
have to think out any other ways. Or turn around, find some famous
buildings. Let questions help us think, give us the courage to get the

I love what I am doing! Even it is made up by myself. However, the
positive thought helps me a lot to work and to learn, because my brain
can not tell the difference between the imagination and the reality.
Again, we decide who we are.




I get used to learn positive phychology course everyday and write
something. Wonderful!

Today I do not want to review my course. I want to say something about
my fantastic team–SPURS!

GO SPURS! The most successful team last 20 years in the NBA! Five
championships, 20 playoffs. Lots of glory that I can not remember and
write down. Today, even though JAMES gets his 30000 points and breaks
the KOBE’s record becoming the youngest player who gets 30000. My team
wins the game. Without LEOLAND, the MVP, without GASOL, the powerful C,
without GINOBILI, who always wins the game when everyone thinks it is

I love this team. They fight together. They are a family.


Which is the real me? Do you think your work as a tool of living, or
make it as a duty, as a calling. That is the way you do contribution to
the society, the country and the whole world.

Money is good, and we can not live with it. However, we can not enjoy
our limited life only with money. Money is a tool, but not the process
and the terminal. We have to find how we can be happier. Enjoying a
great book or watching a wonderful movie, solving a difficult problem or
learning something very interesting. It depends to you.


Why do we wanna to go to the gym? To be healthy. And here is the way we
exercise that we give us stress. We wanna be stronger if we do more and
more exercises. We always wanna to get more happy and less litter, which
is human nature.

Questions lead us to the answer. Stress can help us find the way to be
stronger. That is the sense. We have to work hard because the life is
full of ups and downs.

Life is just as a marathon game. You have to run, because it is long. If
you just walk, you are too slow and you do not get the opportunity to
arrive at the terminal. However, if you run in a rush at first, you will
get tired for only several minutes and make it boring. Marathon is an
interesting game. We have to run, and also we must get some time relax,
to slow down to relieve our anxiety and tired in order to speed up in
another journey.


We have to slow down. Just do one thing in a period time. In this modern
society, there are lots of wonderful things we can chase for. However,
we just have limit time and energy. We can not get them all. And that is
the reason all of us are anxious. We are greedy that we want happy
things rather than bitter ones. That is human nature.

We have to make some choices. If you love movies, and today there is a
renew of SHIELD in the Internet, but you get lots of work and you do not
understant them at all. So that is your choice. You have to give up one
in order to make some time for another. That is the way to save time and
persuit happiness.


I wanna to get confidence and achievement in every day. I also wanna to
be energetic to pursuit my goals.

So here is the solution. Find the time and the place you are in the most
efficient and can be focus on the topic. After working hard for a while,
give yourself a reason to stop and enjoy the view around you. Remember
it is not only happy when you win the game, the process of it is also

We have to bury ourselves into anything we enjoy. We also have to get
balance between our life and our career. Of course, career is an
important part of our life, but not the only one.


We are all lazy, absolutely that is human nature. Give us a reason to be
passion, to be confident and to be energetic to focus on what we are
doing. When we achieve some goals, give us some rewards to push us again
and bury us into another jobs. When we wanna find some excuses, tell us
we should have five minutes get used to new surroundings and become a
habit. If we are still lazy, just give ourselves a minute off and tell
us that is a reward, that is human nature.


Success comes from trial and error. We all know that no pain, no gain.

So when and why we stop and hesitate to try? When we are young, we
always focus on what we are doing and what we wanna to do. If we fail,
we just stand and continue to try again and again. Do you remember the
moment you learn how to walk? What a lovely and energetic baby you are.
You are happy when you struble, and just stand up with hands and legs
with a smile. However, when we grow up, we realize we are not the center
of the world. There are lots of people watching us. We can not fail. We
always focus on others opinions but not our inner thoughts.

We reject to try just because we hate to fail. We have no courage to
solve some difficult problem as we are shy and we have no confidence.
How can you succeed the first time if you do not know it at all.


If you want to make double of your successful rate, you have to make at
least triple of your failure rate.

Remember, success is never an accident, and it comes from trial and

Besides that, learning is a happy thing but not a bitter one. We learn A
and B that is the reason we gain experience. That is why we can grow up.


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What is the reality? When we wanna do something, we just believe we can
get the goal with hard work and we will make some bad decisions, after
that we grow up.

Sometimes we have to be perfeclism. If you are doctor, or a driver. You
can not make mistakes. However, there are lots of aspects in our lives.
If you wanna get to B from A, there is not only one way. If you always
wanna find the straight line from A to B, you will often be unhappy.
Life is full of ups and downs.

When we pursuit something, we focus on the goal and that is right. Also,
the surroundings and the journey is also important. Because what we have
is here and now.


What we can control is that we work hard and focus on what we are doing.
We can not know what will happen tomorrow. We can not change our IQ or
other people’s opinion of us.

What we can do is that we chase for our dream and focus on the task and
the people in front of us. We can not fix all the problems behind us and
also that is also meaningless.

If we are smart, that is good because we can spend less time and learn a
lot. However, if we are not very intelligent, that is great because we
have to work hard. We have no excuse to avoid hard work. If we are
always lazy, we will not get improved. No pain, no gain.

Learn to fail and fail to learn.


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Just forget everything and give yourself any courage to try. Just like


图片 5

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Permission. Positive. Perspective.

Give us a permission to be human. We can be unhappy and accept the truth
that we will fail sometimes.

Be positive. Every coin has two sides. If you look positively, you will
find something different and colorful.

Find a different perspective to make yourself colorful and what you are
doing meaningful. Everyone is unique and can make this world a better
place in his or her own way.


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Do not try to set many goals at the same time because you will fail
almost 100 percent. We have to use self-discipine to fight against our
nature and our habits. What we can do meaningfully is make what we wanna
do eagerly a habit.

For example, almost everybody knows that doing exercise is good for
health. Easier said than done. We have to go out to run, to do
weight–lifting or swimming every day or several times a week. Make it a

图片 12


We all want to do something, but there are always someone can not get
what they want.

There is a good way to help us focus on what we are doing named
meditation. Walking meditation helps us try to focus on our movements,
left, right and left. Sitting meditation gives us an opportunity focus
on our breath. Just breath in, deeply, then breath out.



How to keep on going with your soul mate and make the relationship

We always wanna get a wonderful lover that is impossible. We have to
waste time to get in touch with him or her to know details, to know
habits. We are not alone when we are in love, we have to think about our

If we have some problems, or quarrels, only focus on the topic, not on
your lovers. Solve it, and forget it. We can just sit down and ask for
solutions, make both of us satisfied.

What is REALLY important is right here and right now. Do not hesitate to
show your love. Make commitment from your heart.

Have same goals to persuit. Absolutely, we should time and space to
improve ourselves. We should be a real person, a naked one when you face
your soul mate. We should have some important things to think about, to
fight for.